somehow i'm sick n tired of all these shit stuffs.. really sick of it.. i had enuff of being the middle person alrd.. it's so tiring to be somehow so called sandwiched between the 2 of u.. the feeling juz sux totally... which i totally dislike it... i felt like a fool, tryin to make both ends meet.. i'm juz feel like a total retard tryin to b like who i've always been, with a naive thinkin tat hopefully things will turn to be better.. though i noe it's kinda impossible for it to happen, but i juz try to let my mind wander off elsewhere n nt on all these shit stuffs.. all of a sudden i'm really really exhausted doin all these, i'm juz like a clown, jumping to one side n entertain awhile, n nxt jumping to the other side n entertain awhile.. at times i really felt uber stupid n dumb of me doin all these.. sometimes i ask myself, will things change back to wad it once was, if i did all tat? is it worthed my effort doin it? though i knew tat it's hard for tat to happen juz by the look of it, but perhaps i'm juz too stupid or used to doin all this tat even though i noe it would b fruitless n a waste of my effort to do tat, tat i'm still continue doin it... but now, i have finally awaken, n i noe tat wad i had always been doing, is juz a waste of my effort.. shall nt bother so much anymore, n cont to juz sit on the fence n nt on anyone's side.. well, so u knew abt tat so called event but din even spoke a word of it to us, only until it's over n tat i asked u abt it den did u mention to me abt it.. u claim tat u only knew it last min, only when this person called u in the mornin n tat the other person tried reachin u on ur cellphone the nite before but was unable to reach u as u did nt turn on ur cellphone.. well, somehow i juz feel tat it's juz an excuse, bcuz i believe tat u actually knew it few days back.. oh well, so if it's really tat wad u said was true, but wad abt the other ppl? they have our number as well rite, even if they cant reach u to inform u, they can tell us abt it rite? but well, they didnt, they only bother to inform her.. perhaps only smart ppl r impt n valuable, but those who r not as smart r juz extras in a way, nt of any use, or perhaps juz junk to them.. well, i dunno wad to say.. but all i noe is tat i will nt attend any of such things if no one bothers to inform us abt it.. wad's the pt of attending if no one even bothers to inform u? n well, wad a joke tat u said to me, tat if i want to go i can go by myself n need nt go with them.. wth would i want to go there by my own for? well, who noes wad has been goin on between u n her? who noes wad did u tell her n wad did u all tell the rest? nobody noes except u all n god.. i shant bother so much anymore..
i guess things do change, ppl do change, n i guess perhaps i'm changing too.. who cares yea.. so wad if i'm emoing now.. who cares? it juz feel so much better after ranting out... dun worry abt me, i will be alright soon.. hopefully..
how i wish i could wander off to a faraway land where nobody can be able to find me.. if only, there wasn't recession, i wouldn't be so broke nw, n nt to even mention, jobless....
