hmmm... i'm kinda lazy to blog abt today leh, guess i'll blog abt my today or rather is ytd liao lah cuz alreadi 1am liao, tml instead barhx... so, for now i'll juz blog abt something else lah, in which makes me feel kinda a bit stress or wadever e feelin is dis few days... well, so recently, or can say is dis whole week barhx, a lot of pplz keep like cum n ask me: "eh which sch u being posted to ar?" den i'll b like, so e erm diaoz loh... so i'll juz reply them sayin: "oh.. i'm not goin for e first 3 mths thingy.." den nvm loh, if after i said this they'll stop askin qns lah, but well tat's not e case loh... infact, they continue to ask some more qns as to like:" how cum u r not goin for e 3 mths thingy leh?" n thus, i'll b kinda a bit like dunno wad to say loh, n i'll tell them: "oh no lah, cuz i intendin to go poly lah.." perhaps u'll tink tat they will stop askin any qns liao, but u r wrong loh, cuz they still have one last qn to ask u before they r finally so called sastified loh... n e last qn dey will ask will b: " huh... how much did u get?" n always dis qn makes me tink abt lots of things loh... so stupid sia... wth... so i'll juz kinda like lie to them sayin tat: "oh.. i couldn't remember already.." well, these pplz r actually my pri sch frens all tat loh... haiz... upon havin quite a few pplz who have came to ask me dis qns, n tat recently i have been hearin pplz say to me y u want go poly n not jc? jc is better loh.... -_-" haiz... it really makes my mind to go n tink abt lots of stuffs.... deep inside me, i noe tat last time, before sec 4, i've sort of like decided to go jc, but i noe tat i wont b able to de loh, wib such stupid n lousy results i got... but, who am i to blame? no one, other than myself... who ask me last time always dun study hard, din kinda revise too... n seriously, suddenly i felt tat i'm juz so stupid n useless all of a sudden again loh... perhaps bcuz of these qns barhx... sighz... perhaps i'm afraid to let pplz noe tat it is not bcuz i'm intendin to go poly tat's y i din go for the first 3 mth thingy, but bcuz tat i actually CMI(cannot make it) de... haiz... now, all i hope for is juz tat my results for my o lvl exam, could allow me to get into poly n the course tat i wanted to go to.... somehow i juz dun quite have any confidence in myself at all... i'm afraid tat i'll have to go back nxt yr as a rgt student n not an ex-student... i'm really am very afraid of tat... will i b able to get into poly? will i b able to get into the course tat i wanted? will i b able to achieve my goals? will i? will i? i really wonder if i can... sighz.... i'm once again e pesismistic me tat i've been mths ago.. =(
