[sighz] haiz.. well today, as usual loh, reached sch, den went back to class fer lessons.. den well first period was hist, well i went back to class first, hopin tat there would b miracle happenin which is tat i'll see my hist tb n wb again under my desk... well, tat's juz a wishful tinkin of mine, n so of cuz i din see any.. so was kinda more mooday n unhappy n sianz loh.. den see e time still early, so sat in class continue to study fer my ss first.. awhile later, walked over to 4/6, want to find esther to go fer hist together, as tat's wad we'll always do loh.. but, today i walked over to there, den find out tat she wasnt in sch today.. so, walked to com lab alone loh.. den on e way there, saw ms lai, she smiled at me but, i din smiled back, n i also din say hi or do anything or talk, juz simply no expression, mayb onli got a sad+moody+unhappy+sianz de look barhx, den she look at me wib a beri funnie look loh.. den at outside com lab dere, i saw ms goh, she smiled at me too, n my reaction was juz like wad my reaction was earlier on when i saw ms lai loh.. well, i'm sorry abt beri so dao to them, n well sorry to other pplz who i might hab dao u today.. well, seriously speakin i've neber been in gd n happy mood lately, n dis me tat i am lately, hab been here fer like mths.. so it hab been mths since i am actually feelin happy.. sometimes pplz, might see me a lil bit crazy or a bit happier, but wad i can say is dis is all juz a false front, tat's actually not wad i actually am feelin deep inside me.. u may want to say tat i'm beri fake den in dis case.. but there's reason behind it de.. well, hist like usual loh, din do anything loh, no ws or any papers today.. den well, was informed tat there will b hist mock exam dis thurs loh.. haiz, so sux loh.. when i hab my bk wib me de shi hou, there werent any tests or mock exams, but when my bk was gone, then there's mock exam.. so shit loh.. hab been askin myself today, why?why my hist bk lost?why muz it b lost at dis point of time? why did it went missing when i actually really really want to settle myself down n start to revise, though it's kinda late liao, but it's better than din start... why? n i found the ans, which is there's no 1 else in which i could actually blame fer dis to happen, i could onli blame myself fer it.. it's juz my own fault.. cuz, if in e first place, if i din leave my bks under e desk, den it would not hab been lost or stolen by pplz.. so thus, it's actually all my fault, i could only blame myself fer being so stupid, so naive to tink in tat way.. tat's wad i could only say to myself, fer e ans to the qn i asked myself n mayb to other things as well.. after hist, was eng, go through e einstein compre we did last time.. well i scored 13/25, not bad at least got pass.. den was erm cme, den mdm poh, told us abt wad cumin back to sch to study at nite, n asked us to vote whether we want or dun1.. find e rules beri stupid.. but i said yes, dunno y... hopefully they will change e stupid rules.. den recess, nth much, walked ard here n dere alone... den was erm ss, our class tried bargaining wib cher bout the test, asked her to gib on fri den she say cant as she say the test is 45mins.. den we tried bargain tat we do 1 qn today n e other on fri, but also cant... den we tried askin fer it to b an open bk test, but still cher dun allow.. so we no choice loh...did e test, i tink i can flunk it, i did read through e day b4 n b4 e test, but i juz cant recall much.. den was maths, continue to do our bpgh last yr prelim paper 2 loh.. den well got back my paper 1 got 47/80, wib quite a number of qns left blank, if realli exam i could get dis grade with tat number of blanks i leave, i will b beri happy le.. den was dismissed, ss xtra lesson was cancelled... den erm went library, stayed dere till 5+ den ard 5.30 den went hm.. went hm, bath n online bloggin, later i shall go eat my dinner n go do my hw n also study le.. well, juz hope tat my hist bk will b back... well, hope tat i'll not tink too much... i'm juz hoping tat my hist tb n wb will b back again... i'm juz always not in e mood lately, no longer who i used to b.. i tink i'll b back to b who i am in e past le... the me i am now, i guess will b e who i am fer beri long... i'm juz cant help tinkin bout lots of stuffs... i guess i gonna fall sick le.. sore throat, ulcer,mayb fever too? mayb i might juz die soon..
