[a day of only maths lesson]
well.. today woke up ard same time as ytd, 8+... den go brush teeth n bath, den went out of hse fer sch... reached classrm dere, saw mdm rohaini still dere in class, n was tokin to someone frm e admin 1 i guess.. den after tat she ask me n is to go in n sit down n told us tat ms tham is on mc, n that she hab to keep us in class fer half an hr, till 9.30am.. den was released fer a long break, den me mj n yl, went to yew tee mac makan... den after tat rushed back to sch... angel was waitin fer me outside e go, den we quickly went up fer class, tot is in e ava rm but ended up was at e it resoure rm... went in, well, tink we're late fer half an hr barhx.. den was given a revision test to do, well, some qns cant solve, den cher went thru den gave a re-test, but it's not realli a test lah, den well, after tat was dismissed..
den well, went to canteen saw ck, den pei her eat her lunch, while i wait fer hy to dismiss.. den dismiss liao, we went off together, den at first say want go hm 1, den in e end pz called, den hy asked me wanna go walk walk, so i said anything, n well, meet pz n their pri sch fren at lot 1.. den left fer orchard... took 190 dere.. went to far east plaza... well, on e way there, thruout e whole trip to there n also walkin ard dere n cumin back, i was being beri beri quiet.. i feel so left out among them, as they were tokin among themselves n i hab nth to tok at all.. it feels so terrible loh e feeling... i hate it loh... haiz, on e way dere in e bus, hy asked me to tok, but well, there's nth to tok abt loh... mayb my friendship wib most of my frens r drifting apart le? to e extent tat there's nth tat is sort of in common fer us to tok abt? well, haiz, if i hab knew tat e trip would b like dis, n tat i would b sort of abandoned n feel so left out, i wld not hab go along wib them n wld rather cum hm n slp... felt so sad loh, cuz it's like dis sort of things seems to happen a lot of times loh.. dat i'm like being bang seh by my frens, feelin so left out n lonely... i realli dislike it so much... mayb bcuz i'm not a beri gd fren, a fren which is not worth to hab, to share ur sorrows n probs wib... haiz... mayb i shld isolate myself, n b alone n not tok to anyone anymore, n keep everything to myself, n not lettin anyone know abt it.. being alone, not hanging out wib frens anymore barhx... tink i mayb shld do tat le, even though i dislike being lonely... haiz.. tink things wld b better fer me in dis way, keepin everything to myself, being on my own not gonna interact n associate wib pplz, isolate myself n mayb shall not b breathing a word to anyone anymore, n trusting no one but myself... tat's shall b wad i'm gonna b like frm tml onwards, isolating myself frm everyone... tat might b wad i'm might b like foreva or fer e nxt few wks to cum or mths... i do not know.. i reallli feel like shouting out loud now, n goin to a place in which dere will b no 1 ard, juz myself, realli feel like cryin n i'm actually cryin inside now.. mayb friends r not wad they might appear to b barhx.. haiz.. forget it, i'm gonna stay in a world of my own frm now onwards, where nobody except me wld b dere in e lil world...
memories left behind..
