haiz... well, today gotten back quite a number of results n it's so depressing n saddening.. haiz.. first 2 periods was hist, well, went to 2nd floor mt rm n it's locked, n so we're all waitin outside, requested to go to ava or it resource rm fer lessons, but mr ras seems like he doesnt wants to, n was callin tink mr neo or whoever n went to get e key fer e rm.. haiz, den gotten back my hist paper, i flunk it due to my essay loh, so fer hist i gotten only 20/50 loh.. haiz.. saddening, nvm cuz i din realli studied so i cant expect much juz tat i juz want a pass tat's all, haiz, well mayb dis is i deserve it de barhx..haiz.. den was ss, mdm rohaini was absent so i slowly walk back to class, den reached class saw ms lai inside gotten frm her my phy paper 2, was so sad at the marks, haiz, i really felt like crying at tat moment but i controlled, gotten only 40/65 loh, it's so damn lousy loh... i feel so useless n stupid, i spent so much effort studying n practicing, working hard fer dis paper, n well e fruits i beared frm dis labour is liddat, i really wanna bang e wall man.. haiz, i tink n feel tat i hab gu fu ms lai le loh, fer spendin time to teach me, haiz... i'm such a letdown... ahhh.. haiz, den was eng, gotten back only e summary, gotten 17/25, well, cheered me up abit as i seldom get dis kinda marks.. haiz, den went fer recess, after eng... afetr recess, was maths, gave mr tan e card dat our whole class had fer him, all thanks to karen fer helping us make e card, n every1 signed on it.. gotten back maths paper 2, i failed, but unexpectedly i did better fer paper 2 den paper 1, as i tink paper 1 is much much more easier den paper 2 loh n yet paper 2 i failed by 3 marks onli loh.. haiz.. but overall add up i still failed... matsh paper 2 gotten 47/100 loh... haiz.. paper 1 actually i can pass de loh, haiz all due to stupid careless mistakes loh.. haiz y am i so careless, tears rolled down my cheeks not long after getting back my maths paper 2, i juz cant helped it anymore.. haiz.. den was poa, gotten back mcq n paper 2... flunk, gotten only 15/70 fer paper 2 n paper 1 knew it ytd le 14/30... so both added up 29 loh flunk until beri jialat, as usual, but dis time i feel really really bad n sad bout it... as in e past, i failed, i din feel sad or anything n nor did i cried bout it loh, dis time i did as i feel guilty as i hab gu fu ms merduati fer spendin time to teach personally on sat n yet i gotten back dis kinda grades.. haiz.. i feel so bad n guilty fer gu fu these 2 gd teachers of mine... haiz... breakdown again after poa lesson, haiz, i really cant helped, i'm feelin so depressed n sad loh, feel tat me myself is so useless... haiz.. how? i really dunno.. tml gonna get back chem n i tink eng also, den phy mcq... haiz... can i choose not to go sch tml? but surely cannot dun go loh, cuz hab phy xtra lesson after sch.. haiz, sure gonna breakdown again tml n fer e rest of e week barhx upon gettin back results... i cried alot today sia haiz.. neber felt so useless n helpless b4 loh, i gonna go crazy soon haiz, tml all e results get bad all sure beri jialat liao i tink.. haiz.. sad, depressed n useless, tat's wad i'm feelin rite now, n upon typing i feel like cryin again when tinkin bout my results haiz..
